This question was submitted to Kids Help Phone by a young person and answered by one of our professional counsellors. Before you start reading, we want to let you know the following question mentions thoughts of suicide that may be upsetting.
Question
A few days ago me and my boyfriend broke up. He was getting really mad at me and called me a f*****g b***h and was be really mean. This was all while he was texting me. My parents don’t let me date so I don’t want to show them the text and I have only told my friends. I was really hurt and mad so I called Him an a*****e and then he posted it on a social network website (edited) . I got him to delete it but now I just want to die. I haven’t told anyone but him that I’m suicidal. What do I do?
Answer
I’m sorry to hear that you and your boyfriend broke up. Break-ups are can be difficult and to have your friend get angry and berate you, I can only imagine how upset that made you feel. It can be tempting to retaliate and fight back with hurtful name calling too. This entire situation seems to have affected you so much that you are having suicidal thoughts. Am I right? I hope you are okay. Please consider phoning us at 1 800 668 6868 if your thoughts of suicide are getting more intense. Reaching out to a trusted adult, calling us or if the thoughts are scaring you, please dial 911. We take thoughts like this very seriously. Okay? When you ask “what do I do?” I am not sure if you are referring to your suicidal thoughts or how to address the text message or the break-up. Let’s look at this whole situation together and see what we can come up with. Okay? That was really smart to contact your friend to have him remove your comment from that social network site. Good on you for that? If you feel threatened in any way and your friend is calling you names either on-line or text, have you thought of talking to a trusted adult at your school? I am assuming your friend goes to your school but perhaps he does not. If he does threaten you or continue to say mean things to you, you could also show your messages to the police. Did you know that? It is actually not legal to harass or intimidate people electronically or in person. So they may give you some ideas how to stop this (if it continues). In the meantime, you are dealing with a break-up and that takes time to heal from this type of “wound”. It hurts a lot in the beginning and over time it hurts a little less day by day. Everyone is different, of course, and it takes the time you need but talking to friends can help a lot. I am happy to see that you are able to reach out to friend. We are always here to help you through this rough patch as well. It helps to find ways to distract yourself with activities and hanging out with friends. It gives you a break from the sad moments you may feel still. How does that sound to you? It is not always easy especially when this is a first break-up. So many youths are not always aware that this “very sad” feeling will not last forever…it just hurts so much you cannot imagine it ever going away. It does in time. Whether you are 15, 25 or 45, break-ups hurt. Know that you are not alone…you have your friends, and you have Kids Help Phone at 1 800 668 6868. Hope to hear from you soon. Bye for now.
