This question was submitted to Kids Help Phone by a young person and answered by one of our professional counsellors.
Question
Hi ive recently joined a new school and its harder than i thought it would be. I left all of my close friends and im having a hard time keeping in touch with them. it feels like their all moving on and growing up and im not there to witness it. I try and message them every few days but its hard. just seeing a picture of them with their new friends really gets to me. i feel like im being replaced. Schools also being really hard on me. im barely passing math and by barely, i mean barely. science is getting harder. Everything is getting harder! im always feeling stressed and for some reason sad. i dont know if its depression or just the stress finally getting to me. im just so confused .
Answer
I’m glad you’re reaching out to talk about this, as it sounds rough on you. You’re trying to keep in touch with your friends from your old school, but it seems like they’re all moving on. That’s got to be hard and hurting you, inside. I don’t know if you changed schools because of a move, meaning your family moved houses, or for other reasons but it definitely can be challenging to keep in touch with our friends when a big change like this happens. I don’t know if you did see and spend time with your friends out of school, because if you did and you still live close, you should still be able to do that. If you’ve moved away, of course, that’s a lot more difficult to arrange, isn’t it? But maybe with the xmas holidays coming up, and it’s not too far, with your parents help, it could happen…what do you think? I’m suggesting it because it could be one way to help to keep your connection to your friends strong. Does this idea appeal to you? Could you ask your parents about it, and then check in with your friends about some possible dates ? As for feeling stressed at the new school, of course it’s natural that it takes time to get comfortable and make new friends…has some of that been happening for you there? I hope so, and if not how about joining in some extra curriculars to help make some new friends? Or, could you talk to the school counsellor about it, d’you think? Because if you’re feeling sad, and possibly depressed, talking about it is one thing that could help a lot. And that is true for dealing with the math and science too…consider talking to your teachers about it, if you haven’t already. I hope this helps. Let us know how you’re doing, okay? We’re here to help. Take care of yourself.
